Too Many Rules Make Me Want to Start Trouble

Two months before our trip to upstate New York I began looking for a place to stay and realized everyone got there ahead of me.  Big hotels are out of the question – those heavy doors closing at all hours ensures a cranky Cindy.  In addition to quiet nights, my other requirement is air conditioning – I’ve lived in the south much too long to go without some form of climate control.   

Finally, I came across an Airbnb listing for a house in Seneca Falls – the gorgeous Finger Lakes region – that looked perfect.  The only hitch was the hosts might, in fact, be nuts. 

I’ve been using Airbnb for years and had never seen a list of rules like this manifesto.  In the 1,600 word salad were some reasonable demands – don’t color your hair, park in the designated area, remove your shoes – as well as a few that gave me pause – no sleeping on the sofa, don’t use a humidifier, no “aggressive fragrances” and get this – no guests on the property!  I asked about having some old friends visit and got this back: 

“Thank you for letting us know ahead of time. As long as it is for a short period of time (a few hours) we will make an exception and allow this.” I felt favored by the Airbnb gods.

But when we arrived, there were more rules. Here are a few of our favorite signs:

There were some assertive instructions for giving a post-visit review as well . . .

Even the bathroom wall decorations looked like admonitions . . .

I began to understand how students must feel when faced with a long list of rules. It makes you want to do something naughty. Fortunately, we are word game lovers and the welcome sign offered a perfect opportunity for some hijinks.

Our friend (the one we had special dispensation to invite) challenged us to rearrange the letters into a new statement.  Our compositions don’t make perfect sense but we left no unused letters! It felt deliciously like getting away with something after so many “no-no” warnings. Enjoy our creations!

I’ll admit it – I liked “juicy” and”lewd” and the rest is a bit forced
Using the ampersand and exclamation point proved challenging
I wish I could claim the host’s name is Jen
I went with the British version of “cosy” but this one is my fave

I’m keeping an eye on the Airbnb rules for this property.  You can only imagine how gratified I’d be if a new one appears:  “Please do not rearrange the letters on the welcome sign!”  I’ll update this story if that happens.  In the meantime, maybe I’ve got the next Wordle-type craze on my hands!

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