Is That My Niche?

I took a break from Medium for a month or so and needed a gentle way to restart my writing momentum so I wrote a few song parodies. I hope you have fun reading them and please check out my other work on Medium – Cindy Shore Smith @smithcuse.

Fifty Ways to Wear Your Mask Wrong

A Song Parody of Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon

The problem is right there on your face, she said to me
The answer is easy if you will think logically
From Covid-19 we are struggling to be free
There must be 50 ways to wear your mask wrong

She said, it’s really not my habit to be rude
Furthermore I am not saying you’re a hopeless stupid dude
But I’ll repeat myself, otherwise we might be screwed
There must be 50 ways to wear your mask wrong
50 ways to wear your mask wrong

Got it under your nose, Rose
Top of your head, Ned
Worn like a hat, Matt
Not hearing my plea
Pushed to the side, Clyde
Hanging off of your ear, dear
All jaunty and free, Lee
Not as it should be

Not wearing at all, Paul
Over one eye, Cy
Firmly held in your hand, Rand
Obey the CDC
Under your lip, Flip
‘Round the back of your neck, Beck
It’s tied to your knee, Bea
You’re breathing on me

She said, it grieves me so to see you are so dumb
I wish there was something I could do so common sense would come
I said, I appreciate that but would you please explain
About the 50 ways

She said, why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight?
In the morning read the symptoms and that should give you a fright
And then we air-hugged and I realized she probably was right
There must be 50 ways to wear your mask wrong
50 ways to wear your mask wrong

Got it on too loose, Moose
Big giant gap, Pap
Put it on in the dark, Mark
No protection, see
Uncover you chin, Winn
It’s half falling off, Joff
Breezy and free, Dee
Need a mirror, you see

Got it under your nose, Rose
Top of your head, Ned
It’s not worn like a hat, Matt
Not hearing my plea
Pushed to the side, Clyde
Hanging off of your ear, dear
All jaunty and free, Lee
Not as it should be

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Give Me My Vaccine Shot

A Song Parody of Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar

Oh you’re a real tough virus with a short history
Of compromising lungs like the ones in me
That’s okay, you’re not gonna do it
Roll up my sleeve, let’s get down to it

Give me my vaccine shot
Go on and give me my vaccine shot
Give me my vaccine shot
I’ll even pay

You come on with a fever
You don’t fight fair
That’s okay, see if I care
Floating droplets, all in vain
Soon I’ll be on the streets again

Give me my vaccine shot
Go on and give me my vaccine shot
Dr. Fauci’s real hot
I’ve gotta say

So you’re a real tough virus with a short history
Of taking taste and smell of everything we see
Before you put my name down as another case
Here’s an injection, put you in your place

Give me my vaccine shot
Go on and give me my vaccine shot
Give me my vaccine shot
I’m not your prey

Give me my vaccine shot
Go on and give me my vaccine shot
Freedom’s what I have sought
It starts today!

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Here’s one more, my newest, based on “Yesterday” by The Beatles. Just click on the link below, hop on over to Medium and check it out. Stay safe!

Yesterday, B. C. (Before Covid)