Being a Writer is So Easy a Dog Can Do It

Writer’s block, my furry ass

My morning walk time came and went because Dog Mom was too busy whining about writing. There was the usual moaning about writer’s block, bellyaching about editors and griping about “stats’, which is apparently more important than my full bladder.

I’ve been watching closely — partly to see if she’ll forget that half-eaten muffin – and I have a few ideas of my own. I jotted these down while she was getting the mail and still have time to jump on every piece of furniture in the house before she gets back.

Let me know if you think I’m a “good boy” and quitcherbitchin’ about being a writer!Opening Statement Re: Chewed Table Leg

1) Opening Statement Re: Chewed Table Leg

2) How to Tell if the Pretty Vet Assistant is Really Into You

3) Owners’ Friends Butts, Ranked

4) Ten Ways to Communicate “This Lowfat Food Sucks Ass”

5) My Thoughts Choosing a Bush to Pee On

6) Hot Irish Setter Across the Street – An Erotic Journal

7) What the Shape of Your Poop Predicts for the Year Ahead

8) Dog-Grooming Nightmares, A Photo Essay (Warning: Disturbing Images)

9) People Wearing Muzzles – Now We’re Getting Somewhere

10) My Favorite Toilets: A Travel Diary

11) True Crime: How I Killed the Cat and Got Away With It

12) Get a Longer, Thicker Tongue in Just Six Minutes Per Day

Why anyone would spend time on this crap when there are squirrels to chase is beyond me. With all respect, hoomans, you can keep your opposable thumbs. I’m going to go lick my balls.

Like doggo humor? Then don’t go because here’s another:

It’s Not You. It’s Not Me. It’s Your Conniving Dog.